1 00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:25,719 {\an8}Shall I take your bags downstairs, love? 2 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:27,959 Oh, it's just... It's just one bag. 3 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:29,319 Quite, small. They don't... 4 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:30,439 I don't... 5 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:31,839 They don't want me to bring much. 6 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:34,360 No, no, no. Yes, I read the booklet. 7 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:37,559 So I can carry it. 8 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:39,799 I always thought we should have redecorated this room. 9 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:41,319 It was on my list, actually. 10 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:42,759 Well, you can now. 11 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:44,719 No, no, no. I meant for you. I meant, 12 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:46,759 this room was done up for a seven-year-old. 13 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:48,319 You've deers on the wallpaper. 14 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:51,479 I should've given it a lick of blue paint over the summer sometime. 15 00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:54,119 Made it feel more like a grown-up's room. 16 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:55,879 I like it. 17 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:57,759 My point is, 18 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:01,120 I think you grew up and I didn't notice. 19 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,720 Well, Dad, none of this is to upset you. 20 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:10,520 I found an answer to something, that's all. 21 00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:14,559 KNOCK ON DOOR 22 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:16,040 DAVID: Muriel? Are you there? 23 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:21,239 KNOCK ON DOOR Anna? 24 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:22,480 Er, if, if you're there... 25 00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,360 ...Ithink we need to talk. 26 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:30,760 I-I'm just posting my number through the door. 27 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:34,560 I'd just like to talk. Talk more. 28 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,080 That's all. 29 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,800 SIREN WAILS 30 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:53,920 Oh! 31 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:57,079 No honey sandwiches? 32 00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:00,239 No, I'm sure I can rustle something up. 33 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,120 Yeah? Don't. 34 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:07,560 How you doing? 35 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,360 MACHINE BEEPS STEADILY 36 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,279 Oh, you brought him? 37 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:27,440 Yeah. 38 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:31,199 You been waiting long, Father? 39 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,959 I'm sorry to keep you, 40 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,999 I'm having a bladder reaction to the drugs or something 41 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,200 and they were changing my pads. 42 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,799 This a right level of embarrassing for you? 43 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,719 Yep. 44 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:46,999 Do you want...? Would you prefer some private time? 45 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,559 No. 46 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:51,039 She wanted you here. 47 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:54,119 Besides, we've had enough of that. 48 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,119 She's bored of me yapping away, 49 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:59,799 complaining about this, that, the other. 50 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:01,159 Are you in pain? 51 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:02,759 Oh, yeah. 52 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:04,879 And it's on my notes that I'm an addict 53 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,400 so they're being very cheap with the painkillers. 54 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:15,200 Er, Tina wanted me to come and ask what you wanted to do next. 55 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:17,839 Oh, I'd like to go home 56 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,800 and live my life, thank you very much. 57 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:28,599 I suppose I am concerned that, with Tina's baby on the way... 58 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:32,919 What, I'll let him back in and he'll mess up that kid, too? 59 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:34,440 You're still charming. 60 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:37,760 Tina wants help. 61 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:40,359 I just... 62 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,560 I want things to be different now. 63 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,520 So you went to a priest? 64 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,639 I'm not a priest. Not here. 65 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:55,639 Just someone who cares. 66 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:59,079 We all care, Father. 67 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:00,920 Some more than we should. 68 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:20,999 I am through with vetting families for schools. 69 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,799 Little Algernon is a firm Catholic. 70 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,679 We can't attend, of course, we dry ski on Sundays, 71 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:28,279 but he prays daily 72 00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:31,079 and we bought him some of your holy beads from Amazon. 73 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,599 Show him, Algy, show him. 74 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,519 I'm sure his name isn't Algernon. 75 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:38,280 No. He's called Biscuit or some such nonsense. 76 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:41,560 Sermon? 77 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:45,560 Oh, it's my sister's marriage blessing. 78 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:48,719 I didn't see it in the diary. 79 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,440 Second marriage. Ah. 80 00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:54,680 First one was... Bloke was an arsehole. 81 00:05:56,240 --> 00:06:00,119 It's a registry office wedding and then a blessing in the garden. 82 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:03,959 Then praise be she's getting on the horse again. 83 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:07,959 What? The Church isn't right about everything, 84 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,719 and I like your sister. 85 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:11,159 HE CHUCKLES 86 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:14,719 And I like people getting on horses. 87 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:18,199 I'm extending an awkward metaphor. 88 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:21,320 I'm checking you're getting the help you need. 89 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,759 I'm getting the help I need. 90 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,559 A lot of which is coming from my sister. 91 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:29,760 Well, that's good. 92 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:36,479 I was concerned, etc. 93 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,479 I won't interfere, etc. 94 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:40,840 Consider me spent. 95 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:43,680 Thank you. 96 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:50,919 Now, we've had a strange request I didn't know whether to pass on. 97 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:55,039 The chaplain at HMP Avonmouth has requested a visit. 98 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,519 What? Why? Why would...? 99 00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:59,719 A parishioner has requested you. 100 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,040 Tina's father. 101 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,079 I don't think you should. 102 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,920 I'm not even sure Tina would like you going. 103 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,600 But... your decision. 104 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:20,800 CHOIR SING HYMN TO ST CELIA 105 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:55,320 Oh. 106 00:07:57,880 --> 00:07:59,719 I...I wasn't sure whether to... 107 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,519 Knocked for you like four or five times at Muriel's. 108 00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:04,599 You haven't been home. 109 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,759 Well, that is impressive of you. 110 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:09,639 I've rung. Repeatedly. 111 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:11,479 You've done a lot. 112 00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:13,319 Very thorough. 113 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,720 It's, beginning to sound like harassment. 114 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:21,079 I, um... 115 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:22,520 I wanted to talk to you. 116 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,200 I'm aware. 117 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:33,359 I just wanted to say that I stand by everything I've said. 118 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:36,439 I've... I've thought about it and, 119 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,400 this doesn't often happen to me, but... 120 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:41,520 ...I think I was right. 121 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:45,679 I think you and I should accept that 122 00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:48,519 what happened between us was meaningful, 123 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:50,399 but not in the way, 124 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:54,839 well not... not the way that I thought it to be meaningful. 125 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:57,159 Can I speak now? 126 00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:58,400 No. 127 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:01,600 Yes. If you want to. 128 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:06,959 You are... 129 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,239 But you're... you're not allowed to compliment me. 130 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:13,039 Can you...? Just if, for instance, you were going to say 131 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:16,719 that I was formidable or fantastic, 132 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:18,799 or even just interesting, 133 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,359 or anything about how I look or how I am, 134 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:24,679 then that, that wouldn't be OK to say. 135 00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:26,520 Why not? 136 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:30,719 Look, can we just start from the beginning? I mean... 137 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:33,679 Look, the beginning and the end 138 00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:36,919 is that I changed my life for you. 139 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,399 And you are not responsible for that. 140 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,879 I really... I really hope I've made it clear 141 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:44,559 that you are not responsible for that. 142 00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:46,039 It's... 143 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:47,399 It's just the truth. 144 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:51,679 I fi... I've found all of this very confusing. 145 00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:53,239 I apologise. 146 00:09:53,240 --> 00:10:00,279 I also hope I've made it clear that it was all me and 147 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:02,399 I...I do apologise for your confusion. 148 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:03,599 But it wasn't all you. 149 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:05,119 You're not allowed to say that either. 150 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:06,760 Anna, what am I allowed to say? 151 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,239 Have you been praying? 152 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:14,559 About you? 153 00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:18,319 God, no... No, not about me. 154 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,359 I just mean have you... 155 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:23,519 Have you been praying generally? 156 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:29,239 I feel like I've been the cause of some spiritual undoing 157 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,879 and I just... 158 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,719 I just wanted to make sure that you've been... 159 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,239 You've been praying again. 160 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,039 Yeah, I've been praying. 161 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,479 Have you? 162 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:41,480 Yes. 163 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:47,279 I've also been going more regularly to Alcoholics Anonymous. 164 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:52,000 It's not something I want advertised but something you probably guessed. 165 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:58,759 Yeah, I did... 166 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:01,080 ...sense that. And that's helpful? 167 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:05,040 Think so. My sister's... 168 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:09,120 Good people around me. 169 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:14,799 You're not to feel responsible. 170 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:18,079 You shouldn't apologise. I should. 171 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,799 I'm sorry. 172 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:25,119 I behaved towards you like... 173 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:28,519 I felt... You-you made me feel things. 174 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:30,040 I need you to know that. 175 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,240 You made me feel things. 176 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:41,919 Now I...I'm trying to set myself right. 177 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:44,479 I'm determined to be a good priest. 178 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:46,880 Or at least the best priest I'm capable of being. 179 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:52,599 My confusion was never you. 180 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,240 It was... 181 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:58,039 You brought to light... 182 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,440 Well, you've done a bit more than bring to light. 183 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:11,599 At AA, we try to explain not who we are but why we are, 184 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:17,840 and I think you saw the who but not the why. 185 00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:22,559 I think my understanding of what I should be has been... 186 00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:25,320 I think I've been trying to help people in the wrong way. 187 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:28,199 And which way is that? 188 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:31,359 Saving people. 189 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,760 It's an addiction like any other. 190 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:10,040 Wonderful's the word I would've used to describe you. 191 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,120 See you again. 192 00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,400 Not if I see you first. 193 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:04,840 DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES 194 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,999 MURIEL: Is that you? 195 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,679 Oh, of course it's you, 196 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:13,479 I'm due on shift. 197 00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:15,519 Oh, I've cooked. 198 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,519 A disgusting idea, I know. 199 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:19,759 But on the off chance you're not repulsed, 200 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:22,799 there's half a shepherd's pie in the oven. 201 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:24,839 You look like you're coming down with a cold. 202 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:26,439 No. No, I'm fine. 203 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:27,959 You sure? 204 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:29,319 What time are you back? 205 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:33,640 Shift ends 5am. Very lucky, I know. Come here. 206 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:36,040 Eat the pie. 207 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:42,200 DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES 208 00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:48,920 TV PLAYS 209 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,280 LOUD MUSIC AND INDISTINCT CHATTER 210 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:04,319 Hi, can I have a glass of red wine, please? 211 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:05,759 We've got a list if you want to... 212 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:07,199 Oh, just the... Just the cheapest. 213 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,200 Coming right up. 214 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:48,600 SHE EXHALES 215 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:51,000 It's OK. 216 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,800 Hi. Hi. 217 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:47,439 You waiting for someone? Er, no, no. I... 218 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:50,399 I just couldn't stay in the house any longer. 219 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,839 Huh. How come? 220 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,959 Er... 221 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:58,799 Irritated by the sound of my own thoughts. 222 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:01,639 I know that feeling. 223 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,079 Tony. 224 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,240 Anna. Hi. Hi. 225 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:13,119 Who... who are you with? 226 00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:15,039 Uh, my brother and his wife. 227 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:17,519 Yeah, they came here to get away from their kids 228 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,879 and they just want to talk about their kids. 229 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:22,919 THEY CHUCKLE 230 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,639 You got children? 231 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,359 No. No. You? 232 00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:29,599 Uh, yeah, yeah, one. Ben. He's 11. 233 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:33,959 His mum and I are divorced. It's... it's tricky. 234 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,760 Yeah. I can imagine. 235 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:41,399 What do you do, Anna? 236 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:45,400 Uh, I'm a... cook. 237 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:49,280 Uh, a cafe cook. 238 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,159 Which cafe? 239 00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:55,679 Well, really I just, I...I make cakes and bakes 240 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:57,679 and sell them to different cafes. 241 00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,959 You know, just a home kitchen. Nothing big. 242 00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:01,199 Mm. 243 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,639 Keeps me going. 244 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:06,919 Well, I may have eaten a sausage roll of yours in my time. 245 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:10,040 Spicy lamb rolls are my speciality. 246 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,159 Wh-what do you do? 247 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,960 Uh, solicitor. I work for Bristol City Council. 248 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,599 Oh, listen, I'm not very good at getting served 249 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:28,840 but can I buy you a drink, Anna? 250 00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:37,919 Er, one more and I'll be drunk. 251 00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:39,280 Oh. 252 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,799 Uh, I'm, um, to be honest, I... 253 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:49,559 I'm a bit bored of this place. 254 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:52,920 Have you... Have you got somewhere we could go? 255 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,480 Er, sure. 256 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:43,280 Huh. 257 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,079 You OK? 258 00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:49,999 Can I just say, you're in great shape? 259 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,800 Better shape than me. 260 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:09,800 SHE BREATHES SHAKILY 261 00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:16,959 Are you OK? Am I...? Am I going too fast? 262 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,119 No. 263 00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:20,239 S, s, s, s, I'm sorry... 264 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:23,040 I mean, this was your idea, wasn't it? 265 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:28,359 No, it's, um... No, it's not... It's not you. 266 00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:31,039 Listen, I'm... I'm sorry if I... 267 00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:34,999 No, I'm, um... It's-it's not you. I'm-I'm sorry. 268 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,559 Well, it's, it's, it's OK. I like you. 269 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:39,879 I... I... Should I...? We... 270 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:41,359 I can make a cup of tea? 271 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:42,759 With some biscuits. 272 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:45,439 Maybe we can, we can, we can talk about it? 273 00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:47,240 I'm, um... I'm... 274 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:52,999 I can't. What you going? 275 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,719 Can I call you? 276 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:57,319 No... 277 00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:58,520 No. 278 00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:02,399 Anna? 279 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,919 You've-you've done nothing wrong. This is... 280 00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:07,880 It's... It's my-my mistake. Please, please don't. 281 00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:12,200 I don't want this... I'm not ready. 282 00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,560 PRISON GATE BUZZES 283 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:25,799 Father Hicks? 284 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:27,599 Father Bennet. 285 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:29,079 Call me William. 286 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:30,240 David. 287 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:39,199 OK, so you'll be meeting him in the multi faith room. 288 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,879 It's up to you if you want someone in the room with you. 289 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:43,239 I'll be OK. 290 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:45,040 I think he genuinely wants counsel. 291 00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:53,760 DOOR BUZZES 292 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,799 Guard staying out? 293 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:12,040 You asked for me. 294 00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:14,959 Yes. 295 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:16,999 I was surprised. 296 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:18,200 Yeah. 297 00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:25,399 Am I here as a priest? 298 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:26,600 Or as a man? 299 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:29,280 As a priest. 300 00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:38,120 What do you want from me? 301 00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:43,000 I, um... 302 00:25:47,120 --> 00:25:48,960 Uh, they told me she's gonna be OK. 303 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:56,159 I asked if I could call her but they... they said no. 304 00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:57,559 You thought they might allow it? 305 00:25:57,560 --> 00:25:59,279 I didn't know. That's why I asked. 306 00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:01,680 Why do you wanna speak to her? Because I love her. 307 00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,480 I wanted to hear her voice. Hear she was... 308 00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:13,000 Hear she wasn't in too much pain. 309 00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:15,920 What, pain that you caused? 310 00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:21,480 Yeah, I know, I know. 311 00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:27,880 Have you...? 312 00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:31,960 Will you visit her? 313 00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:34,840 I have. 314 00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:39,160 And is she...? She's in pretty bad shape. 315 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:44,880 I don't know... 316 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:54,960 I don't know how to stop. 317 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,559 If she gives evidence against me they'll give me two years, maybe, 318 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:08,199 and I'll be released on condition that I stay away from her. 319 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,959 But... but she'll find me. Because that's her way. 320 00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:12,599 And... and then I'll just do it again. 321 00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:14,479 You've assumed a lot of things in that statement. 322 00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:16,440 Or she won't and I'll find someone else. 323 00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:23,479 I can smell it on 'em. 324 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:24,920 The woman. 325 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:31,799 The women who won't say no. The women that'll take it. 326 00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:33,799 I-I know who they are. Sounds like... 327 00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:36,279 Oh, what, you think there weren't others before her? 328 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,000 Others during her? 329 00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:42,999 Yeah, it doesn't take a lot for me to get women. 330 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,599 These hands have broken three jaws. 331 00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:46,999 I've stamped on hands. 332 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,479 I've shattered legs, pelvises, eye sockets. 333 00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:51,279 One girl I almost ripped her ear clean off. 334 00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:52,599 What can you say to that? 335 00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:54,040 You sound almost proud. 336 00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:59,360 My mum, she walked with a... a hunch. 337 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,599 Walking round the house with a bunch of washing 338 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:06,119 in a cheap plastic basket, 339 00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:09,920 and this saggy face and this hunch... 340 00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:15,079 ...like she was always waiting for the gut punch. 341 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,239 Why did you want me to hear that? 342 00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:18,760 What's the question? 343 00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:23,360 I'm thinking I need to kill myself. 344 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:27,959 And I know that that is a sin, 345 00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,160 but I'm thinking it's all that I've got. 346 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:36,280 It is the only way to stop me. 347 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:44,000 And I'm asking for your guidance on that. 348 00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:13,600 OK. 349 00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:19,919 I think that you need help. 350 00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:22,279 Tried it. It didn't work. 351 00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:24,200 I think you need to try again. 352 00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:28,559 Father Bennet told me of a counselling service here. 353 00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,639 No. No. I just want to hurt them too. 354 00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:32,759 They think they're so fucking clever. They never are. 355 00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:33,959 I am actually clever. 356 00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:36,880 I can see how fucking thick they are and I won't have it. 357 00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:39,839 Do you think I'm clever? 358 00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:41,760 You? You're not as clever as you think. 359 00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:45,680 You are weak. 360 00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:53,960 I can smell the booze on you now. 361 00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:56,679 No. 362 00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:57,840 Fine. 363 00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:01,360 But I've smelt the booze on you before. 364 00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:05,799 And I know you go to those meetings. 365 00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:08,719 I've got friends in those meetings and they know you're weak too. 366 00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:10,279 Why... why's it matter what I think? 367 00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:11,840 Because I have said this. 368 00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:17,439 You are my priest. 369 00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:19,640 I've never much felt like your priest. 370 00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:24,439 You can talk to any priest. 371 00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:26,599 Maybe someone with some distance. Father Bennet. 372 00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:28,719 I don't know them. They could be kiddy fiddlers, 373 00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:29,919 or worse still, 374 00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:32,639 the pious fuckers who think that everything is easy. 375 00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:34,080 You're weak... 376 00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:39,840 ...but you're a good man. 377 00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:43,599 I've seen you and I know you're good. 378 00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:45,520 And you have been good to my daughter. 379 00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:49,000 I trust your judgment. 380 00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:54,759 I don't want this last act to be a sin. 381 00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:57,119 I want it to be an act of penance. 382 00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:58,759 And God is not talking to me right now, 383 00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,239 so I need to know from you, I need to know that... 384 00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:02,880 I need to be sure that this is... 385 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:08,040 That penance is right. 386 00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:21,520 Good. 387 00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:25,600 Good, yeah, you're thinking. 388 00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:32,160 Well, there it is. I know I've said all I want to say. 389 00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:36,240 I'll trust your word. 390 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:45,359 Yes or no? 391 00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:48,639 First foster home I went to was fine 392 00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:51,039 but they were only doing emergency care. 393 00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:54,080 The second was OK but we didn't get on. 394 00:31:56,000 --> 00:32:00,679 Third foster family I went to, I was five. 395 00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:02,840 I lived there for two years till I was seven. 396 00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:06,920 The oldest kid there was 14. 397 00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:14,039 I won't give him his name because he doesn't deserve it. 398 00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:16,239 To be honest, I don't need to hear the personal stuff. 399 00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:20,160 He thought I made too much noise. He liked to pinch me. 400 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,919 Just little hard pinches that no-one saw. 401 00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:30,079 And I-I was a pretty scared child and I let him. 402 00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:32,959 And then it escalated a little. 403 00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:35,159 He'd punch me. 404 00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:37,400 Little rabbit punches he'd call them. 405 00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:40,760 He'd push me off things, and he'd... 406 00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:46,200 ...do everything he could, little things, to... 407 00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:50,439 He enjoyed my pain. 408 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:52,319 I am not finding this interesting. I just want an answer. 409 00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:54,599 I didn't want to talk to my support worker about it, 410 00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:57,439 because I thought it was this or an institution, 411 00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:59,919 and I had my own room with this family 412 00:32:59,920 --> 00:33:01,919 and I really enjoyed the food, 413 00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:05,999 and I had a couple of friends at school that I liked to play with. 414 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,479 And then my... 415 00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:11,000 The people who became my parents started to visit. 416 00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:15,479 And they were really special. 417 00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:17,599 Everyone could see. 418 00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:21,639 They smelt good. They were Catholic. 419 00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:24,439 Everyone knew that religious adopters were the best kind. 420 00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:27,559 Third time they visited, 421 00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:32,439 he followed me into the toilet 422 00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:35,759 and he slammed my head into the bowl and he held it, 423 00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:37,839 he tried to hold it into the water, 424 00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:39,999 he tried to drown me in the toilet water, 425 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,479 but there wasn't enough water in the bottom of the bowl 426 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:45,759 and so he pushed his hands around my head 427 00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:48,239 and I was bleeding. 428 00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:49,720 He strangled me. 429 00:33:56,200 --> 00:34:01,560 He strangled me so hard I lost consciousness. 430 00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:05,959 I... 431 00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:08,480 I don't know how. 432 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:11,800 I don't who saved me. 433 00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:18,439 I was taken away from that foster family immediately, 434 00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:21,079 taken, actually taken in to... 435 00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:23,480 By the Catholics who adopted me. 436 00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:28,879 My point is... 437 00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:30,519 Actually, I have two points. 438 00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:32,800 My first is - I understand pain. 439 00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:38,040 I understand people who want to inflict pain. 440 00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:44,760 My second point is, that boy, me... 441 00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:51,639 ...I had no-one to talk to. 442 00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:52,920 No-one. 443 00:34:54,240 --> 00:34:57,519 And I...I've thought since then, 444 00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:01,719 I resolved I would never let anyone be alone like that, 445 00:35:01,720 --> 00:35:02,880 like I was, again. 446 00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:07,319 But... 447 00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:09,800 But I think you do need to be alone, Phil. 448 00:35:12,720 --> 00:35:15,359 Penance is about change. 449 00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:17,000 It's not about ends. 450 00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:21,599 If you commit the same sin, 451 00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:22,999 you can't just clean it off 452 00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:26,039 and you can't think one act cleans the slate. It doesn't. 453 00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:28,399 God doesn't work like that. 454 00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:31,519 God loves but God also expects. And what does he expect? 455 00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:32,880 He expects love. 456 00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:37,960 He expects love. 457 00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:42,279 For yourself and for others. 458 00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:44,280 And he expects you to be the best love. 459 00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:48,239 John 4:8. 460 00:35:48,240 --> 00:35:51,559 "Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. 461 00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:54,760 "Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God." 462 00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,799 So, no. No. I will not sit in judgment on your act. 463 00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:10,759 It's a sin how you've lived and if you kill yourself, 464 00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:12,360 it'll be a sin how you die. 465 00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:15,880 But I will say this. 466 00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:20,160 Yeah, you're right. I am weak. 467 00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:24,239 But you are weaker 468 00:36:24,240 --> 00:36:27,600 if you think you truly have no way of helping yourself. 469 00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:35,479 And I will be... I... I will do everything I can 470 00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:37,119 to help Bianca see this through 471 00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:42,080 so you stay in here for a very long time. 472 00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:25,760 DOORBELL RINGS 473 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:32,759 Hi. 474 00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:34,519 Hello. 475 00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:36,160 This is a surprise. 476 00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:39,639 I, uh, thought about calling, 477 00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:42,079 but I didn't want to catch you unawares. 478 00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:45,079 Well, you caught me unawares on your last visit so... 479 00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:46,599 ...fair's fair. 480 00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:48,320 And you're cooking? 481 00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:52,079 The James family invited us over. 482 00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:54,039 I thought I'd make my apple cake. 483 00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:55,720 Chris? Chris! 484 00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:02,200 Well, don't let me stop you. 485 00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:06,519 Do you want to help? 486 00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:10,039 Yeah. Of course. 487 00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:11,680 Hmm. 488 00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:21,279 Hello. 489 00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:25,359 She's helping me now. You can go back to your room. 490 00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:26,599 Nice to see you. 491 00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:28,559 And you, Dad. Are you well? 492 00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:30,040 We're cooking. 493 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:46,839 That was an odd thing to do, wasn't it? Forgot I had some out. 494 00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:48,999 Sure. 495 00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:50,959 You de-core and slice. 496 00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:52,999 I'll keep working on the rest of it. 497 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:54,360 OK. 498 00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:02,559 Er, I've been making a yoghurt and apple cake, actually. 499 00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:06,360 We had a farmer who would swap... 500 00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:10,279 Ah. Doesn't matter. 501 00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,759 THUD! 502 00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:14,719 I hate it when you do that. 503 00:39:14,720 --> 00:39:18,680 When you're superior like that. "It doesn't matter." 504 00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:22,520 Like you are the arbiter of... 505 00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:26,359 I, um... 506 00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:30,599 I'm just... I'm just here to see you, Mum. 507 00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:33,040 I just want to help you make a cake. 508 00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:42,080 I like thin slices. 509 00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:46,240 Feels like they melt into the cake when they're thin. 510 00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:01,720 FOOTSTEPS APPROACH 511 00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:13,600 I need a lift, Dad. 512 00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:17,560 OK. Where to? 513 00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:46,639 Hello, Father. 514 00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:48,679 Hello. Um... 515 00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:51,359 I just wondered if Anna... 516 00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:53,319 Whether I could talk to Anna. 517 00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:56,519 Um... No, I'm afraid you can't. 518 00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:58,239 Look, I-I know I've made mistakes. 519 00:40:58,240 --> 00:41:00,759 I-I just want to explain 520 00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:03,479 or try to set things right, 521 00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:04,879 just talk to her. 522 00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:06,879 She's gone back. 523 00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:08,120 Back where? 524 00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:18,439 She... 525 00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:19,920 She left me a letter. 526 00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:24,000 Probably thought I'd try and convince her different. 527 00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:32,760 Do you... Do you want to come in? She's made a mistake. 528 00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:38,359 I think you've thought that a few times. 529 00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:39,720 She has. 530 00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:43,880 She took her skin off for you. 531 00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:52,040 Maybe she just wants to put it on again. 532 00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:55,760 Feel safe again. 533 00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:02,760 Yeah. 534 00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:05,440 HE SIGHS 535 00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:13,800 Anna? 536 00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:19,119 Oh, it is you. 537 00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:21,759 And looking so healthy. 538 00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:24,159 Look at that lovely hair. 539 00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:28,400 Hello, Polly. Hello, Agnes. 540 00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:32,519 I didn't think I'd see you again. 541 00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:34,840 You have light all through you. 542 00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:54,600 Hello. 543 00:42:56,920 --> 00:42:58,119 I... 544 00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:01,239 Are you in-in the middle of something or shall I...? 545 00:43:01,240 --> 00:43:02,600 Stay. Please. 546 00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:08,079 Please don't make this humiliating. 547 00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:10,679 I wasn't intending to. 548 00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:14,000 But may I ask why? 549 00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:17,679 This is my home. 550 00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:20,880 No. It is a home of God. 551 00:43:26,720 --> 00:43:28,399 Did he reject you? 552 00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:29,680 No. 553 00:43:30,720 --> 00:43:33,479 Are you going to change your mind again? 554 00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:34,679 No. 555 00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:39,639 Sorry to ask, I hope you know why I have. 556 00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:41,960 Is there still a place for me? 557 00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:46,360 Of course there is. 558 00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:50,039 I can do good work here. 559 00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:51,520 You always did. 560 00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:56,240 I, uh, I have my habit. 561 00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:02,560 If you want to, you may put it back on. 562 00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:09,159 You are loved here 563 00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:11,840 and we are pleased you have found your way back. 564 00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:16,800 I love you, too. 565 00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:24,159 And I will try not to expect you to be the same person now 566 00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:26,440 as you were when you left us. 567 00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:31,600 Though you do seem to be just as irritating. 568 00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:35,199 In the name of the Father 569 00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:37,559 and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. 570 00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:39,679 The Lord be with you. 571 00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:41,520 CONGREGATION: And with your spirit. 572 00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:48,159 Lord, we have sinned against you. 573 00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:50,159 Lord have mercy. 574 00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:53,399 CONGREGATION: Lord have mercy. 575 00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:57,639 Lord, hear our prayer to fill us as you filled your Son 576 00:44:57,640 --> 00:45:00,320 with love to fight the world. 577 00:45:02,240 --> 00:45:04,559 Help us... 578 00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:06,040 ...to... 579 00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:08,759 Help... 580 00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:11,160 Help-help-help us to... 581 00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:14,479 Amen. 582 00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:15,920 CONGREGATION: Amen. 583 00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:20,239 Show us. 584 00:45:20,240 --> 00:45:22,639 Show us your mercy 585 00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:24,679 and your love. 586 00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:27,160 CONGREGATION: And grant us your salvation. 587 00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:33,119 May Almighty God have mercy on us, 588 00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:35,959 forgive our sins 589 00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:39,679 and bring us to everlasting life. 590 00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:40,719 Amen. 591 00:45:40,720 --> 00:45:42,119 CONGREGATION: Amen. 592 00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:43,520 Amen. 593 00:45:43,570 --> 00:45:48,120 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0